Afraid of failure???

As always, my art journal seems to always end up reflecting what is hiding/lurking in my sub-conscious and this one is no exception.

When I was diagnosed with Lymphoma, someone suggested I write a bucket list - things I wanted to do, things I wanted to achieve.  This was not so much of the "having to get them done before I die" mentality but really having something to look forward to and focus on living.  Some of them terrified me, like skydiving, something that fascinates me but scares me at the same time (I've always joked that this one was just pencilled in).  At the time I figured that if I was going to die then I must as well give it a go as I had nothing to lose - right?!?!   

Anyway, I have always wanted to be a model but, of course, did not have the right physique or looks for that, and definitely did not have the courage.  A couple of weeks ago I plucked up courage to answer an ad looking for 'normal' people - so I applied (what was I thinking).  I got an interview and last week got a call back for a photo shoot.  As it gets closer I have had second thoughts - is the company legit? can I afford to do this? will I be able to find the time?  All these things have been running through my mind.  As I was playing around with different techniques and paints in my journal, this quote was playing around in my head - "don't be afraid to fail; be afraid not to try".  So that is what I am going to do, I am going to try.  I have no idea where this is going to take me but I will never know if I don't try.  My photo shoot is this Friday and we will see what happens from there.

The background is a textured handmade paper from Paperzone and the stencil is from The Crafters Workshop collection - it's called Butterfly Meadow.  The pink flowers are my own creation.